Praying and waiting..

Still finding good reasons to be here, and not there. Last night's Cetacean Society International meeting was one of those excellent reasons. Special thanks to Barbara Kilpatrick for her generous and artful hosting this agglomeration of unusually talented whale lovers from all over the country; Paul in Hawaii, Paul in Florida, Dan in Pennsylvania...

And thanks to our beloved whale-saving icon Director Emeritus Dr. Robbins Barstow and his wife Meg (whom I have mentioned elsewhere in this blog) and co-founder with Don Sineti for joining hearts and tasks in 1974 to give birth to the Connecticut Cetacean Society. Robbins and Meg, our meetings will never be the same without you; we miss your heart and energy and expertise.

As of last night, I've been given the green light to work together with others to create CSI's Facebook page. So excited.

Finally, and still, I wait for my eticket to travel on September 1 which is tomorrow. Judging by the postings of hundreds of other future teachers, and by the fact that I did not receive a ticket today, even thought I received an email confirming tomorrow's travel date, I will not be traveling tomorrow. I've twice given goodbye hugs, cleaned and repacked the basement of our home, overextended my welcome at Eileen's, moved in with Dad and Peg, re-weighed my suitcases, enjoyed another Westerly sunset (is there any place on earth where the sun drops out of the sky as quickly? By the time you open your camera case, it's gone) and played in the famous Misquamicut waves one last time.

Two words: Mercury retrograde.

Time passes, love remains.

Happy 25th wedding anniversary to Dad and Peggy. You are such an inspiration to us all.

Plans progressing; getting closer, and further away :)

Thursday August 19th: said Aloha Oe this morning to Paul as he is headed back to our second home in Kauai to tie up the loose ends, finish out his job, prepare to take the shorter trip to meet me in Abu Dhabi--most likely via Manila, rather than via New York.

After a few snags, I finally received a travel date of Thursday 26 August from JFK in New York as I have remained here in Connecticut after the services for Paul's mother Shirley who passed away last Monday. It is a good feeling to have confirmed travel date, however I am now in limbo; packed, ready, and still waiting another week. I continue to remind myself that life is a journey, not a destination, and the fun comes "between the dashes". Still, I'm already there in Abu Dhabi, in my head. My heart is in Hawaii with Paul and friends there, and here in Connecticut, and with my son and daughter- in -law in Virginia, and with my sister and neices and nephew on Cape Cod...with some room left for my new Teach Away friends who are still waiting to leave, too.

Posting pictures of my sweet niece Tara and her gorgeous, ebullient, darling, friendly, healthy happy daughter Kayla during our visit at Mystic Seaport.

Sunday 08/08/2010 update: DNR and other thoughts

Thank our Heavenly Father, Paul made it back in time to visit with his mom. She is failing. He is astounded at how similar Shirley's situation is to my mom's. This is an extremely difficult and personal topic, but I have to catch and record my thoughts. My condo is nowhere near any state of readiness for me to depart, yet 9PM will come whether I'm ready or not, and the plane will leave, whether I'm packed and on it, or not. Can't get through the packing with this on my mind.

Both Shirley and Ursula were labeled DNR, or Do Not Resuscitate, meaning that the only life support administered are "comfort measures". I find this ironic, that "comfort measures" are pain medications, and not food or water. My sister Kathy, a nurse at Cape Cod Hospital where our mom spent the last four days of her life, explained DNR; in its final stages, a dying body begins to shut down processes. When we administer artificial life support such as oxygen, nutrition and water, the body becomes confused, and the process of dying is protracted, and prolonged.

After having witnessed my poor mom slowly leaving us for four full days and nights May 10-14, 2007, and imagining Shirley in a similar state, I can only say that I am still undecided about what I will write on my "Five Wishes" form before I leave for Abu Dhabi. It seems the most loving gift we can give our loved ones is to make the decision about how we would like to be cared for in our final days, so that our loved ones don't have to.

Yay! I received my travel date! Friday the 13th!

Irony: Placed my cellphone down somewhere in the condo early this morning, forgot where I left it as I was bumping around, wanting to get some work done before Lena awoke and required my attention. I was wide awake at 2:30 AM, anticipating Paul's call. Heard a faint beeping indicating that I had missed a call; luckily I used our third cellphone to call myself. Found the phone in the pocket of my shorts. I missed four calls, dang it! Just as I was checking the missed calls, the phone rang-- it was Myra in Abu Dhabi asking if Friday the 13th of August travel date works for me?

I laughed a quiet laugh.

I explained the situation to Myra who was lovely-- despite her working overtime and on weekends lately. My first conversation with someone from Abu Dhabi--thank you Myra for being so understanding, and for giving me hope that everyone there is as sweet and kind and understanding as you.

Three weeks ago, I rescued a baby chicken whose left leg was broken. She was frantically peeping away in the bushes next to the condo parking lot, calling to her nine siblings and momma, but it wasn't to be. Momma and siblings skidaddled away, and against my better judgement--Lena became the newest member of our family. How could I have left her there, helplessly awaiting certain doom? She may have been injured by a feral cat, and I couldn't let her sit until something else finished her off.

Yesterday, Paul's eldest sister Mary phoned to tell him that their mother, Shirley, had suffered a massive stroke on Wednesday night, and was in a coma. "She is not coming back to us, Paul" Mary sobbed. Shirley had just celebrated her 85th birthday on August 1 surrounded by 101 friends and family, and was "the queen of the picnic", very happy, Mary added.

Paul made arrangements, packed, called his boss, and boarded a flight last night that was supposed to depart at 9PM. I asked that he call me when he arrived in LA, and left my cell phone ringer on all night. The phone never rang. I was up every hour, trying to call Paul, but his voicemail box was full, and I couldn't leave a message.

This morning Paul called to say that the 9:00 flight was delayed for five hours in Lihue (Kauai) and sat on the tarmac with the doors open. Evidently the pilot "had an agenda" and refused to cancel the flight after first announcing there was to be a 30 minute delay while they "rebooted" the plane's electronic system.

Poor Paul got no sleep on the flight to LA, and when he arrived this morning, he had missed his connections, and all flights to Connecticut were booked. He was rebooked on a 7AM flight tomorrow, and spent the day today at the LA Westin with curtains drawn, air conditioning blasting (he loves it chilly!), catching up on some badly-needed sleep.

All the family has been to see Shirley as she lingers. We pray that Heavenly Father has a plan that includes Paul getting to say goodbye to his mom before she enters into eternal rest and peace. At this time I hearken back to the day we met The Missionaries, the day our dear friend Jean DePasquale passed after a three-year fight with ovarian cancer, the day Elders Haber and Ferguson uttered these words of comfort and consolation, when I asked "Where did Jean go?" from the Book of Mormon, Alma, Chapter 40:

11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

We read this passage to my dear mom, Ursula, as she lay in a coma from May 10 to 14th, 2007, and I know that she heard.

And now, amid the craziness of packing for Abu Dhabi, I've got to find a home for Miss Lena, book an early flight to join Paul and hopefully visit with Shirley, too. I hope and pray I can pull everything together in time. I know that our Father in Heaven is directing and guiding me, and that all will be perfect and according to His plan.

Aloha and thank you for visiting. I'm hoping that you will check back here whenever you want to learn about our adventures as we prepare to leave beautiful, bountiful Hawaii--and begin a new chapter in our lives in Abu Dhabi.

Thoughts before I move to Abu Dhabi

July 22, 2010
Preparations for Abu Dhabi
Aloha. I’ve been trying to write or speak with you all individually about my preparations for Abu Dhabi, but have only managed to convey the minimum of information, including: I will not know what my flight date is until after August 1; we are being instructed to be ready for a mere 24 hours notice; I’ve requested a 3-4 day layover between my flight from Honolulu and my departure from my “hub” city, New York, but I won’t know if that request will be honored until my flight plans are made, and finally, my visa and authentication paperwork is somewhere in DC between the US and UAE Embassies. It’s unnerving to know that original documents such as my masters diploma, my Connecticut teaching license and our marriage certificate are somewhere, out there, and I’m at the mercy of Federal Express and the United States Postal Service.

I thought that you’d enjoy reading about how my life is changing as I prepare to begin a new job teaching English in Abu Dhabi. May I remind you this will be the fifth move for Paul and I in just under two years. How I know things are changing, and some thoughts:

My living room looks like the inside of a moving van.

If I had to, I could take a job as a mover. I can pack like a pro.

My new Facebook friends online are future colleagues: people I haven’t met yet, but with whom I have much in common. I met a woman who lives in Connecticut, graduated from East Catholic High School in 1983, taught in Norwich, and shares a love of shoes. She recently announced she accomplished a major task—packing all of those shoes into one suitcase. I think the obsession with shoes comes from ten years of Catholic school, never having to decide what clothes to wear, so we varied our shoes and jewelry. I am also wardrobe-challenged and shopping phobic for the same reason.

Cupboards, spice rack and freezer are emptying; I’ve cooked all the rice, used the majority of canned and frozen goods, and I have discovered that paprika isn’t a great substitute for chili powder, but it works.

I’ve added the Abu Dhabi time and weather banner to my home search page. It’s 8AM here, and 10AM tomorrow, over there.

I recognize the need to learn the equivalence between Celsius and Fahrenheit, and wonder if the temperature in Abu Dhabi is in Celsius so the number looks smaller: i.e. 60C vs 130F.

I have to use spellchecker to write “Celsius” correctly.

I have spent days shopping online for “warm weather long sleeved cotton women’s blouses”. Total purchases to date =1 white cotton tunic for which I paid $24.99.

I can make babbaghanoush. And I like it.

Foods I will miss which are abundant and often free in Hawaii: avocado, lemon, lime, banana, star fruit, Hawaiian plum, pineapple.

Animals I will miss which are abundant and free in Hawaii: Kauai chickens (Moa), the early morning coo of ring-necked and zebra doves and the sweet peeping of hundreds of “White Eye”, my little Cardinal “Flathead” and his girl who eat out of my hand, egrets chasing lawnmowers, whales, plovers, ghost crabs, geckoes, humuhumunukunukuapuaa, yellow tang, silvery schools of Travally, parrotfish, butterfly fish, and most of all --Hawaiian monk seals. Writing this made me weep. And yes, I can pronounce humuhumunukunukuapuaa (Hawaii’s state fish) with ease. I’ve learned in Hawaiian it’s simpler to break down the syllables, which often repeat: humu humu nuku nuku apu a a

I know what a VPN is. I purchased one yesterday. And I know why I need one.

Since 9/11, the War on Iraq, the oil spill catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico and understanding Hawaiian culture, I’m becoming a living radar detector, sniffing out unkindness, prejudice, hidden agendas, dishonesty, hostility and negativity better than an airport beagle on an orange. I am honing my ability to detect, assess and (nicely) respond to the infinite barrage of human emotion pouring out over the internet via my Facebook page. I’m committed to taking the high road, to spreading love, tolerance, empathy, compassion and understanding. I will not allow the devil to suck me into the depths of despair and depression, hostility, hopelessness or hate. I will not allow the devil to make me angry or offensive at people who do not understand—or who have prejudice against—Muslims. I think the protest against the building of a Muslim mosque at 9/11 Ground Zero is ugly, scary and reflective of the what happens to human beings who have been hurt.

I see the hand of God in every day of my decision-making, preparations, thoughts, actions, friendships and marriage.

I will not miss endless hours of Marco! Polo! echoing from The Cliffs pool and wafting up to our lanai into our condo. (In Hawaii, unless you live in a hotel and don’t pay for electricity, you don’t close your windows. We hear every sound from every direction. And while the nights are perfectly, peacefully quiet and still, sometimes the daily cacophony of noise and sounds gets to me, and makes it difficult for Paul to sleep, now that he works graveyard shift at the Westin).

On July 24th, Brian and Marisa celebrated one year of marriage. I cannot comprehend or process where that year went, how quickly it passed, and how deeply I miss my family and friends back home.